I always thought that once I hit the 20 pound mark, people
would notice and be in awe. I imagined a lot of:
“Are you losing weight?
“Whoa, how much have you lost?”
“You’re looking good! What are you doing?”
Here I am, a little over 20 pounds lighter than I was three
months ago, and it seems like nobody is noticing my efforts. This wasn’t really a big deal to me, until
today. See, I had actually gotten one of
my friends to diet with me here and there.
So far, she has lost 11 pounds.
People have already started to ask her about her weight loss. When I heard someone ask her how much she had
lost and tell her how good she looked, I actually became jealous! I couldn’t believe that I put in all this
effort and lost all these pounds, but someone who only lost half the weight I
have was getting all the attention that I imagined I would have at this point.
When I finally “checked in” with my thoughts, I realized how
ridiculous they were! First of all, my
weight loss is not for the benefit of other people. It is for MY benefit. I
want to be thin. I want to be healthy. I want to decrease health risks. I want
to be able to wear clothes without feeling like I had to carefully choose
something that hid my imperfections. Why
was I looking for outward validation?
After all, it isn’t about what other people think about me, it is about
how I feel. Am I proud of myself? Heck yeah!
I’m rocking right now!
Then I started to bathe my mind with the positives to
neutralize these negative thoughts. I mentally
rambled a list of things for which I should be thankful. My clothes are fitting looser. Some are even hanging off of me. My stamina
and endurance have increased. I can actually run up the stairs without feeling
like death was sitting on my chest. I
can comfortably cross my legs! I know
many may not understand how big a deal that is.
Crossing the legs is one of those things that is just feminine. I could barely do it. When I would get them crossed, it would only
be for a few minutes, as either my leg would slip off or it would be too
painful and I would have to adjust my position.
So, yeah, this is a big deal to me.
As I thought deeper, I realized that the negative thoughts
that I allowed to creep upon me were completely wrong! My husband has told me every single day how
proud he was of me and how good I look.
Every time my Godmother sees me, she asks how much more weight I have
lost, and bellows out a “You go girl!” My
mom, who (while she is my biggest supporter) is my biggest critic, has even commented
on the weight loss. Friends have even
noticed when I posted a new picture on Facebook. Somewhere along the lines, the compliments
from those closest to me became background noise. I had stopped being grateful and appreciative
of this affirmation. I’m sorry. I love you!
I felt so silly that I had to confess these thoughts to my
friend. She was amused. “Tiffanie, are you serious right now?” Unfortunately, I was! “Tiffanie, you’ve obviously lost weight. I
don’t say anything because I see it every day.
We have been talking about our accomplishments together. I didn’t think you needed validation for
something you already know.” I felt even
sillier than I had initially. She also
pointed out that my changing body was hiding under my clothes that were now
baggy and suggested that I have my clothes taken in, since I didn’t want to
invest in new clothes until I reached a goal.
Had this been another time in my life, I would have allowed
this one thought to develop into an avalanche of thoughts. I would have found myself rolling downhill
into the largest bucket of ice cream topped with caramel, nuts, and whipped
cream that I could find. Then, that
bucket of ice cream would have melted into a guilt-ridden puddle that caused me
to eat more garbage, until I became so discouraged that I turned right back to
my old eating habits. What would have happened
then? You guessed it! I would have gained all of the weight back in
a matter of weeks, and some of those pounds would have come back with
friends. I am extremely grateful that I
am learning to neutralize my negative thoughts before they become a
problem.
“For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.”
Proverbs 23:7
It is so important to be aware of our thoughts. There is a reason that God tells us to only
think on those things are pure. He knows
how easily it is for us to allow our thoughts to create our reality. A few more minutes in self-pity would have
sent me into a whirlwind of feelings that would have eventually led to
destruction of my progress at my own hands.
How do you combat your negative thoughts? Do you redirect them? Do you reflect on the Word of God? OR do you allow them to lead you down Destruction
Avenue? The single easiest way I have
found to redirect negative thoughts is to find things to be thankful for. If your heart is filled with gratefulness,
there is no room for anything else. Once
I got so wrapped up in being thankful, that I found myself thanking God for
shoelaces, so that I didn’t have to worry about my shoes coming off my feet in
the event that I had to run. There is nothing
to silly or too little for your gratitude.
Let us pray.
Father, it is with great humility that I come before You today.
I must first ask that You forgive me for
the negative thoughts that I allowed to enter into my mind today. In the same token, I want to thank You for the
work You have been doing in me that allowed me to immediately turn my thoughts
onto what is good. Thank You for stopping what could have been an
emotional train wreck in its tracks almost immediately so that I may continue
to push toward my goals.
Lord, I lift all that are struggling with negative thoughts,
depression, and feelings of failure or inadequacy. I am pleading on their behalf
that you give them a renewed mind. Let
the mind that is in Your Son, Jesus be also in them. It is so easy to allow the things of this
world to form our thoughts. Forgive us
for allowing distractions to take our hearts off of You and Your goodness. Thank you, Father. We love you.
In the name of Your Son, Jesus Christ we pray. Amen.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story. If you have
found any value from it, please comment and share. I love
you! Thank you!
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